Potty Training part 2 - nappy free

Your toddler shows all the signs of being ready to potty train and you have been preparing them for a few weeks. Now is the time to say goodbye to nappies!

Choose your day

Some children will simply announce that they don't want to wear nappies anymore, often at the least convenient moment! If you are choosing the day yourself, however, there are some things you will want to bear in mind. Choose a day when you will be at home with very little else going on, if you have any other children you may want to pick a time when they will be out of the house so that you can concentrate on your toddler. It is also best to avoid potty training when there are other changes in your little one's life - avoid holidays, and leave it at least a month either side (preferably two or three) of house moves and bigger changes.

A few days before you start it is a good idea to take your toddler on a special shopping trip to buy pants and a potty, step stool or toilet seat. Explain to them that they are a big boy or girl now and very soon they will wear the pants and use the new potty, more about that in part 1

First things first

It may seem obvious but the first step on potty training day is to take the nappies away. When your toddler gets dressed let them choose a pair of pants to wear and remind them that they will be using the potty today. Even if they have several accidents you need to avoid putting your little one back in nappies or nappy substitutes such as pull ups, except for situations like long car journeys. The exception is when you realise that your child really isn't ready and you are going to go back to nappies for several months. Swapping and changing more frequently can confuse a toddler. You don't want to suggest there is any choice or decision about whether or not they wear nappies, it's pants all the time when awake.

Accidents

During the day you will probably find that your toddler will have some accidents. When that happens try not to show any disgust or displeasure, just say something like "Oops, did you forget to go to the potty?" and take them to sit on the potty anyway. Even if they just sit there you are reinforcing the idea that this is what they should do. Then involve your toddler in taking her wet clothes to the washing machine, finding dry clothes to put on, helping with any other clearing up and washing her hands.

Rewards

When you do have a success you will want to reward your toddler. Depending on your child then your approval, a hug and a well done may be all that is needed. More tangible rewards are often not needed. If you do feel that you need something more then a sticker or a special reward chart may do the job.

A lot of people use a small sweet such as a chocolate button or jelly tot. They are small enough that you can give quite a few over the day without over doing it. You should only need to give those sorts of rewards for a week or two before they are no longer needed, after a while start to "forget" to give it, or switch to offering one at the end of an accident free day.

Another reward for day one is to let your child phone someone special, such as a Grandparent, to tell them how well they have done. Make sure the recipient of the phone call has been primed so they can be suitably enthusiastic, and ask them not to quiz your toddler on how many accidents they had. The point is that they tried!

At the end of the day

At bedtime, praise your little one for trying very hard and for the successes they have had during the day, without mentioning any accidents. Ask them to choose a pair of pants to wear tomorrow and lay them out ready. You will also need to explain that even big children sometimes wear nappies at night because you can't go to the potty when you are sleeping.   Reassure your toddler that he is still a big boy and will wear pants again in the morning.

Potty Training part 1- before you start

You have been changing nappies for quite long enough, your tiny baby has grown into a surprisingly big toddler and you think she is ready to be potty trained. Here are some things you might like to do before you take the nappies away, since its so much easier for your toddler to learn one thing at a time!

Think about clothes

Children can have accidents while standing next to the potty, simply because they couldn't get their clothes off. When you take away nappies you will probably need to change your child's clothes, getting rid of vests with poppers, tights, dungarees and jeans in favour of  short skirts or loose trousers with elasticated waists. It helps to get your little one used to the new clothes now and practice pulling trousers up and down. Show her how to do this and ask her to help when he gets dressed and at each nappy change.

Talk about the loo

Many children who are ready to be potty trained will be very interested in the loo. As embarrassing as this might be, it is a good sign. Let them come with you when you go to the loo, talk about what you are doing, "Now I need to pull up my trousers, then I can wash my hands." You can even show them how to tear off a sheet of loo roll and have them pass it to you. All this interest is just your child's way of learning, so help them to learn.

You might also like to get some books about potty training. There are many books written about characters who use the potty and these can be great. I would also include books like "Aliens Love Underpants!" by Claire Freedman and Ben Cort or "Everybody Poos" by
Taro Gomi. A bit of humour is always a good thing!

Watch your child

As you are playing together, keep an eye on your little one. You might notice that he goes quiet, sits very still or shows some other sign just before you have to change his nappy. Next time you see that behaviour you can make a comment like "are you doing a poo now? We will need to change your nappy won't we." This way you can draw your child's attention to the feeling of doing a poo (as opposed to the feeling of having a dirty nappy) and give them the words to express it. Be sure to smile, though, even if you don't really want to wipe another dirty bottom!

Watch your language

Do you hate changing dirty nappies? I doubt anyone would list it as a favourite part of the day, but do make sure that you don't let your child know it. If you have said things like "Urgh, what a horrid smelly poo!" or "phew, just wee, that's good!" then now is a good time to change that. Make sure your little one knows that everyone does poos, and that you are pleased when they do since it shows that their body is working. You don't want them to feel that doing a poo would upset you, or that it's preferable to avoid it!

Go shopping

Just a few days before you start potty training go on a special shopping trip. Make this a special outing, one to one if possible, and have fun! It's all part of building the excitement for this new stage.

I must admit, I really don't like pull-ups. Children don't really notice the difference between these and nappies so they don't have much motivation to use the potty. There is also a danger that you might not notice when your little one has an accident and you want to notice straight away so that you can remind them to use the potty. I suggest you take your child to the shops so she can choose her new "big girl pants" for herself.  Look at all the options and let her choose whichever ones she wants. You want her to be proud of her pants and enjoy wearing them.

You can buy a potty at the same time, in her choice of colour and style. When choosing, do consider stability and how easy it is to clean. I have found that potties that convert into steps or collapse for transport can come apart in use. While those that have cushioned seats, removable seats for the big toilet, musical parts etc can be difficult to clean as there are lots of little nooks and crannies. My own preference is a simple potty made of one piece of smooth plastic, which can even be washed at high temperatures in the (otherwise empty!) dishwasher. That also happens to be the cheapest option!